![]() ![]() William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. I need you to be always confident and in control. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. I like it when you call me slut and whore, but don’t call me bitch or cunt. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). Per Jay Wiseman’s request we are including a link to his Submissive Women’s Kvetch Page, both here and elsewhere on the PLAN Web Site. This page is laid out for easy printing and storage in a 3-ring binder. It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. Jay Wiseman’s D/s Scene Negotiation Checklist. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. Its an RP chat site so not all the kink categories are applicable to IRL play, but Ive used it before to organize faves, yes, maybe, and no for a couple of partners now. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way. If you found a better BDSM checklist somewhere please tell me. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! However, we tend to collapse this along relatively few axes (for example. Human Sexuality is a complicated, multi-faceted part of our identities. A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life. Since BDSM is a kink, you can start up a conversation about kinks in general, suggests Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, a New York-based psychotherapist specializing in sex and relationships. The Kink List Project, Part 1: Introduction. ![]()
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